Buses,Patent Leather Seats,Pamela Anderson

The Fame adlabs Theatre has plush ,black , patent leather seats which dreamily squish when you rest your buttocks on them ,tickets are 200 bucks.You are treated like a king and the theatrewallah people get you blankets and coke and popcorn and coffee on your request.

It also has red hard seats where you have to crane your neck to see both sides of the screen.Here the ushers look at you like scum from the bottom of mahim creek. You also get the free gift of a backache after the movie, tickets are a hundred bucks.

Being the cheapo that I am I caught a movie in the latter type. After the flick my friend who has the luxury of his own car askedme if I needed a lift . Dunno what it was that made me say no...gotta get myselt psychoanalysed for masochistic traits.

Having not enough money for a rick I had no alternative but to take a bus.A bus to any place is theoretically available every 20 minutes..but I had to wait for an hour.Maybe they mean 20 pluto minutes

Then when the blessed thing finally arrived a hundred people got into an enclosure meant for about sixty. If the driver didnt have that enclosure sorta thing for himself , I'm sure a few would have seated themselves on his lap.

Anyways Ive noticed that i spend about 2/5 of my day in buses ...so its about 2/5 of a home to me ..hyuk hyuk ...sorry sad joke!

So after travelling for an hour in a creaking old bus with a hundred sweaty smelly travellers who definitely have not heard of deaodrants i reached home ,flopped on my bed,fell asleep and dreamt of plush black patent leather seats in buses where Pamela Anderson sells tickets in slow motion wearing a red swimsuit..........

So long and So forth.................

Astalavista Baby!

Thus Spake the Lord

Being the Lord ,Master and Maker of all the universes,I have infinite time and space. So I have time to think of small insignificant things such as the state of a puny little planet called earth.

Just the other day I was having a cup of the Elixr of life with my colleague Lucifer(whom you probably know as Satan) when he brought up the topic of Satanism in a tiny place called Earth.

He said that it's the most prevalent religion there.I was bloody shocked!As far as I knew Satanism involved killing babies and animals and stuff like that ....surely earthlings didnt practise that (well not all of them!)...then ol' Luci corrected me ,he tells me "Self Preservation is the foremost law of Satanism and all earthlings heavily follow it !"

So ,Earthlings I wanted to tell y'all that all of you are going to hell ,unless you have any connections in Heaven like Arvind Menon ,Bono , Angelina Jolie,Marilyn Manson(No he's not the antichrist ,it's Himesh Reshammya)..then you are surely going to hell.....Have Fun!

Oh yes and Arvind reminds me to ask you all to leave comments.

May the rest of your time on earth be peaceful.

The Lord.

Lyrical Analysis

Lyrical Analysis

Lyrical Analysis 101

Just the other day someone(a fan) was telling me ...Everyone else does poetry , stories and other artsy stuff on blogs ...why dont you ,O! Arvind the great!...

Being the fan pleaser I am ,I decided to do something artsy analysis of popular lyrics.And as my first subject I have chosen punk princess Avril Lavigne's new track 'Girlfriend'

"Hey hey, you you....."

"No way, no way..."

Note the use of repitition here to get the point across...brilliant..

" I don't like your girlfriend......."

See how nIcely the problem is put across...

"I think you need a new one......" "...I could be your girlfriend....."

Ah look she also provides a solution!

" You're so fine
I want you [to be] mine
You're so delicious
I think about you all the time
You're so addictive
Don't you know
What I can do
To make you feel alright
( alright alright alright)"

The lyrics here may seem inane but only to the untrained mind...just look at the rhyming scheme-fine,mine,time...how original! And she also adresses important stuff like addictions...very deep ..

"... She's like so whatever...."

Like..So...whatever.....three cliched teen words back to back...Thats like so like kewl like dewd !

I could analyse rest of the song but the meanings are so deep that the readers will end up really confused.

P.S: Great going Avril....I bet the grandaddies of punk-The Sex Pistols,Ramones,The Clash are all very proud of you! NOT!

P.S P.S: All those who could not catch the sarcasm in this blog...drop dead you stupid fucks ...

P.S P.S P.S:All fans of Avril ....Im NOT sorry if you are offended...you see that was exactly the idea

P.S P.S P.S P.S :I have 4 postscripts in this......jus wanted to let you know!

The Happy Tune™

The world is at war …again..and this time its worse than it has ever been. The entire planet is a battle zone . People now no longer live in houses…everybody’s a nomad.

Death and destruction is all one generation will know, perhaps the last generation of humans on earth.

I walk through the debris and corpses on the streets, there are men in military costumes with flame throwers who shout out slogans as they burn each other to death .The air is filled with the stench of burnt human flesh. I do not puke neither do I hold my nose . I have seen death many a time in many different places.

I am no traveler or wanderer .I am a man in search of something .I scour the battlefields and graveyards for a Happy Tune™ that I heard long long ago in more peaceful times.

Far across the horizon I see a blue scarf floating in the wind. It belongs to a raven haired girl who plays the blues. She sits on a battle tank with her broken guitar and plays her blues to the nothingness around her. Enchanted, I go to her. I look up at her and ask her to play me the Happy Tune™ that I’m looking for.

She smiles at me and throws the guitar aside. Slowly she climbs down her from her tank and approaches me.

She asks me to close my eyes.

I obey.

Using her soft hands she cups both my ears so that I hear no sounds of the battle that surrounds us.

And then I dance.

I dance with such merriness that flowers bloom where my feet land.

I dance because I found the tune.

The Happy Tune™

That which I looked for all around the world was in my head all this while.

She smiles, picks up her instrument and walks away.

" I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away."